Don't Stop Till You Get Enough

The music stopped yesterday.
Michael Jackson, the best known entertainer of my lifetime departed this life.
It gave me pause for thought in many ways.
For one, we all know that he was a musical genious and his talent and ability to move every nation to their feet trancended all that we have ever known. I'm not sure that there will be another performer to match that as long as I live. Many will try, I'm just not sure that any will compare to the legend that is Michael.
I had mixed emotions when the news hit yesterday evening. For one... DISBELIEF. With everything we have seen and heard about MJ over the years, this just wasn't one of the headlines you expected to see so soon. But on the other hand, maybe subconsciously we did.
I think his death calls for sadness and rejoicing. Sadness for obvious reasons. It hurts to lose such a force. Especially one that proved to the world that anything was possible. He captured the W-O-R-L-D through his art. That's nothing to dismiss lightly.

His passing also calls for rejoicing because now he's free from his shadows. Michael lived his life to the fullest, but he was forced to create a surreal world that in many cases only he understood.
MJ had no childhood. He achieved mega success at an early age and it never dissipated. His housemate for years was a monkey that he shared space with in an extreme gated community. His ENTIRE life was dedicated to the stage. No privacy. No escape.

It made me start to think about the balance of life. Can we really "have it all" Or does the universe find ways of balancing us out so that we truly remain human and equal? Of course we know that no one is perfect, but can we really have extreme success with minimal vices?
It's the same question that I reference when I think about extremely smart individuals. They are genious in their own right... yet they lack social skills. Some people reach great heights but don't know how to nuture healthy relationships. Is there a trade off in this life?
Maybe the interference comes in from the development of our cultures. Privacy would be possible if there was no Paparazzi, but would "celebrity" still exist without them? Fanfare causes larger than life situations. We dehumanize people because they have used their abilities to a greater level than ourselves. We put talented and successful people on a pedestal by creating false fantasies of their lives. It hurts us all.

On our end we miss that we are just as powerful in some form. Maybe we're not singers, dancers, professional cooks, etc. But instead we are powerful motivators, excellent caregivers, philanthropists, or practical entrepreneurs. We dim our own lights while we miss that we are one in the same. On the end of the very successful person that we have put in a superhuman category, we strip their freedoms by putting too much spotlight on their gifts. It affects people differently. Whether it's addictions, extreme seclusions, destructive or dismissive behavior... something gets lost in the translation.

How does one remain humble in an overexposed world? I guess that's part of the quest in this life. Maybe having it all is just finding peace in the noise. It's us as a society that has made it material.

When Does Realism Take Its Toll?

I'm starting to think I'm a realist to a fault. 

I take life at face value.  I don't necessarily get involved in the details of events because I don't always think they matter.  It's black or white.  There is absolutely no shade of grey with me.  Period.

It's not that I'm not open, but I feel like life is what it is.  Full of experiences, growth opportunities, and challenges.  We have the cards we're dealt and we learn to play with them accordingly.  It's not a negative thing.  It just is.  

I'm in a place right now where my reality is not all that I want it to be..  I am fully aware that I can create opportunities for myself, but my mind keeps me in a state of feeling overtaken by where I am on my path.  In the scheme of things I'm overreacting.  There are people with far more to figure out in their lives.  I should probably remain silent on the matter, but I feel the need to express until I understand.  

  I am the product of a spiritual environment that encourages me to project thoughts and actions of what I want to receive in this life.  I must say it's an easier practice to discuss than implement.

I have yet to see things just appear for me based on my thoughts.  In all honesty, I wish it would happen just to prove to me that I can without a shadow of a doubt trust ALL of my thoughts, feelings, and actions.  I want to experience blind trust.  The kind of faith that won't allow anything to disturb my peace or my journey.  I'll just know the answers without having to consult anyone else. 

I'm consumed by the matters at hand.  I sometimes can only see the bigger picture and feel the stresses of it.  I'm practicing focusing on the end result, but I find it challenging to  stop the noise.  I want to change some things in my life and I'm not completely sure how.  I try to quiet myself and listen to the universe for the answers, but sometimes it just feels empty.  

I guess this is where my learning curve begins.  I have to dig a little deeper than the surface right now.  I think I'm missing an important lesson...

 

People Forget The Struggle....

We all go through things.  And we are all in different places in our lives.  We get over things and keep moving...forgetting the experience in the process.  Then we become judgmental of others that are going through that which we have just overcome.

The other day I was engaged in a conversation that took a few days to reach it's full height.  The basic concept was powerful and it made me think about my own actions.  

Once we get through things we subconsciously think we are bigger than the situation.   When we encounter others in the same position we frown upon their "lack" of effort.   People forget the struggle.  They forget that they were once the other person and sometimes we have to dig to find our compassion to truly understand and offer that person insight. 

We are not bigger than one another, but you would think it by the way we treat one another.  I am a self proclaimed extremely emotional person.  I run through the full gamut of feelings in any given situation.  I struggle, I cry, I grow, I move on.  I'm guilty.

I'm guilty of accusing others of not doing enough to "fix" their situations because I have figured out enough to move my own self on to the next lesson.  I sometimes forget to see things from their perspective, or put myself back in their shoes.  Instead of judging I should offer another way of looking at the situation, or make a suggestion of what to try next.  They can do with it what they will, but I can be one less person rolling my eyes and making their situation "no big deal".  

Everyone has their own perception of what constitutes a "big deal" for themselves.  Sometimes it's trivial, but other times its not.  We can't always be the judge.  What is huge today may be nothing tomorrow.  We can be straight forward and blunt with people in our lives, but what gives us a right to tell others that they are going about growth in a right or wrong way?  We don't know their paths and have no idea what they came into this life to learn.  We can offer support, but it's best if positively projected.  No one needs more negativity.  We live in a world saturated in it.  Easier said than done, but worth a try.

I'm also the victim of this.. which is why I'm beginning to evaluate all the sides.  I'm no expert on the topic, but it's starting to make more sense.  This is a far cry from a "woe is me" story, but I do experience moments when people look at me and go "Oh that's it?  You are ridiculous".  Granted, maybe I am.  Maybe I am drowning in water that I can stand in.... but it doesn't mean I don't have something to learn from it.  And your way of telling me to get over it may not be my chosen remedy.  

We all have low moments.  It's hard to comprehend when people are on an upswing and forget that they have been to deeper and darker levels than you.  To deny that we have experienced the same emotions is hypocritical in a lot of ways.  "How dare you feel empty!"  Maybe it is an insult to my soul to feel that way in certain situations, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I'm there and a constant reinforcement to see sunshine doesn't always make the rain stop.  

We have highs and we have lows.  Maybe it's time to recognize that we are all the same on that front. 

Grow, be successful, cry, laugh, live, learn, give advice....   but don't forget the struggle.  

Your ability to relate to another may be just the thing that pulls them out of that space.  

A Great Week Ahead

You know that feeling when everything in your life starts to align?
It almost feels ridiculous to believe that life is unfolding for you the way it is. For the past few weeks I've been almost walking on water. I'm reconnecting with my friends, expanding my relationships, making headway with my personal 2009 goals, learning new things about me, and finally seeing a little extra light at work.

Everything that I've been asking for from the universe is slowly coming to be. I feel powerful... almost unstoppable.

I guess this is the divine spirit that we are born with, but somewhere along the line bury deep inside of us. Then one day we wake up and feel like we have misplaced ourselves... or can't find any answers... can't move forward.. sinking into depression and sadness. We lose touch with who we are for a period of time.

Once we allow ourselves to be open and quiet enough... our souls emerge, and all of the bull that we have been feeding ourselves begins to dissipate. I even find myself laughing at how silly I've been to beat myself up over nothing. I knew the day would come... but going through it I felt like I was imploding.

Today... everything is right.

I'm successful. I'm talented. I'm smart. I'm beautiful. I'm driven. I'm just beginning.

One of the quotes that I keep posted on my wall is this:

"I beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

And it could not be more true. Many things are happening... many things unfolding... and finally I'm present.

All I Need Is An Outlet

Thoughts consume me.  

I don't know that it's possible to go a day.. minute... maybe even a second without channeling some form of thought.  Anything I see, hear, or stumble upon gives me room for contemplation.  My thoughts are pretty vast.  Maybe it's an interest... food, sports, clothes.  Maybe it's life... growth, relationships, how certain aspects of me came to be, and usually an observation of other humans... ha.  I'm sure I'm not the only one.  

I'm new to the blogging world.  So I'm not really even sure where to start.  Usually I just share my thoughts with myself or those closest to me.  Good, bad, or indifferent.  I just crave new perspectives.  I crave release.  I need to put my thoughts somewhere.  Maybe they will help someone else.  Maybe they can influence, cause sudden outbursts of laughter, infuriate, give pause to contemplate.  Maybe they can change me in the process.

Who am I?

The life question...  hmmmm.  The world may never really know.  But for now... today...

I am an open minded, driven woman of the "quarterlife" age.   I'm in pursuit of my dreams.  Starting with my full time career coupled with my full time pursuit of my Bachelor's degree in Sport Management.  Sprinkle in some social moments and some private time to myself (with the 30 minutes I have left).  To some this is the perfect equation for overload.  I prefer to look at it as a sign of the times.  Most of us want to make something of ourselves... many of us stop at nothing.. put me in that category.  I may not always know the way.... but I'll get there.

I'm a writer, a daughter, a girlfriend, a friend, a dream, a blessing, a gift, a spirit, a smile, a moment in time, a seeker, a realist, a miser (haha.. this is only funny to me), a student, an influence, and so much more.  As of today I'm a blogger... finally.  The thought became an action. 

I don't know what will come of this space that I have claimed as mine on the web.  I'll give it a try.  I'll allow it to be my outlet.  Maybe it can serve as the same for others.  Consider this the beginning of a new chapter in my life... I can't wait to share.