Detached Reality...

Hello world...
Are we all just products of our environments now? Is it just me, or is everyone becoming full on sell outs? It's an every man for themselves type of situation unfolding and we only communicate to get what we need. Does anyone else feel cut off or out of place? I DO! It all seems so cold and unfamiliar.... and... fake.

Is this how we are living really? or is it that I just don't get it? I'm slowly falling into that category of people that feels like they don't belong... because I don't go along to get along. But maybe it's just my skewed perspective of what is going on. Our careers and Blackberries are more important than ourselves and those around us... how can this be?

Status has always had a hold on society... but has it always been to this extent? Or did I just grow up and remained oblivious to the obvious as a child? I am trying to figure out how I fit into this mold, although most of me thinks I am one not to be molded.

Do we know what we really seek? Is it really all about the job, and knowing "certain people" in "high places" so we can claim the "American Dream"? I think we have lost our peace of mind in the pursuit of such things. I want to be successful... but I don't want to sacrifice myself in the process. Can one exist without the other? Can any of us really say we haven't "sold out"?

Maybe this is all an illusion of my resistance to the process.....

Mirror Images

I don't want to judge and I have to stop the urge. It is everything outside of myself that must exist somewhere within.

Is it me that really feels weak?

Is it me that really can achieve more?

Is it me that is afraid to step out on my own and from under my excuses?

Could that be me pointing my finger at others instead of tending my own garden?

I think at times it is I too that doesn't recognize my own beauty -- inside and out, as I speak indifferently about others. I try to create things with money, travel, and clothes.. when they really don't matter. In my next breath... I mention how ridiculous that is when I witness it elsewhere.

What I seek is to relax and enjoy all that I am, all that I have, and spread it within the world. Every once in awhile I should just turn off the noise in my head and just really be with me. I'm abundant and need to connect with that. It's time to leave home -- to forge my own way. I trust that I know me, but I feel trapped in the home that raised me. Like I have to escape-- things that don't hurt me-- but that which I must grow out of.

I'm at an uncomfortable crawl at this time in my life and I think that I'm reflecting that outward. I see how to walk... I see how to run... yet I'm not always sure of how to start the race. In my own bubble I can judge those like me. But they are like me because they mirror me-- and I'm starting to see that more clearly. The image is not what I imagined it to be-- but maybe that's the blockage that has blinded me. When I allow myself to be objective when it comes to my own actions and thoughts... I can make astounding changes.