I take life at face value. I don't necessarily get involved in the details of events because I don't always think they matter. It's black or white. There is absolutely no shade of grey with me. Period.
It's not that I'm not open, but I feel like life is what it is. Full of experiences, growth opportunities, and challenges. We have the cards we're dealt and we learn to play with them accordingly. It's not a negative thing. It just is.
I'm in a place right now where my reality is not all that I want it to be.. I am fully aware that I can create opportunities for myself, but my mind keeps me in a state of feeling overtaken by where I am on my path. In the scheme of things I'm overreacting. There are people with far more to figure out in their lives. I should probably remain silent on the matter, but I feel the need to express until I understand.
I am the product of a spiritual environment that encourages me to project thoughts and actions of what I want to receive in this life. I must say it's an easier practice to discuss than implement.
I have yet to see things just appear for me based on my thoughts. In all honesty, I wish it would happen just to prove to me that I can without a shadow of a doubt trust ALL of my thoughts, feelings, and actions. I want to experience blind trust. The kind of faith that won't allow anything to disturb my peace or my journey. I'll just know the answers without having to consult anyone else.
I'm consumed by the matters at hand. I sometimes can only see the bigger picture and feel the stresses of it. I'm practicing focusing on the end result, but I find it challenging to stop the noise. I want to change some things in my life and I'm not completely sure how. I try to quiet myself and listen to the universe for the answers, but sometimes it just feels empty.
I guess this is where my learning curve begins. I have to dig a little deeper than the surface right now. I think I'm missing an important lesson...
