People Forget The Struggle....

We all go through things.  And we are all in different places in our lives.  We get over things and keep moving...forgetting the experience in the process.  Then we become judgmental of others that are going through that which we have just overcome.

The other day I was engaged in a conversation that took a few days to reach it's full height.  The basic concept was powerful and it made me think about my own actions.  

Once we get through things we subconsciously think we are bigger than the situation.   When we encounter others in the same position we frown upon their "lack" of effort.   People forget the struggle.  They forget that they were once the other person and sometimes we have to dig to find our compassion to truly understand and offer that person insight. 

We are not bigger than one another, but you would think it by the way we treat one another.  I am a self proclaimed extremely emotional person.  I run through the full gamut of feelings in any given situation.  I struggle, I cry, I grow, I move on.  I'm guilty.

I'm guilty of accusing others of not doing enough to "fix" their situations because I have figured out enough to move my own self on to the next lesson.  I sometimes forget to see things from their perspective, or put myself back in their shoes.  Instead of judging I should offer another way of looking at the situation, or make a suggestion of what to try next.  They can do with it what they will, but I can be one less person rolling my eyes and making their situation "no big deal".  

Everyone has their own perception of what constitutes a "big deal" for themselves.  Sometimes it's trivial, but other times its not.  We can't always be the judge.  What is huge today may be nothing tomorrow.  We can be straight forward and blunt with people in our lives, but what gives us a right to tell others that they are going about growth in a right or wrong way?  We don't know their paths and have no idea what they came into this life to learn.  We can offer support, but it's best if positively projected.  No one needs more negativity.  We live in a world saturated in it.  Easier said than done, but worth a try.

I'm also the victim of this.. which is why I'm beginning to evaluate all the sides.  I'm no expert on the topic, but it's starting to make more sense.  This is a far cry from a "woe is me" story, but I do experience moments when people look at me and go "Oh that's it?  You are ridiculous".  Granted, maybe I am.  Maybe I am drowning in water that I can stand in.... but it doesn't mean I don't have something to learn from it.  And your way of telling me to get over it may not be my chosen remedy.  

We all have low moments.  It's hard to comprehend when people are on an upswing and forget that they have been to deeper and darker levels than you.  To deny that we have experienced the same emotions is hypocritical in a lot of ways.  "How dare you feel empty!"  Maybe it is an insult to my soul to feel that way in certain situations, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I'm there and a constant reinforcement to see sunshine doesn't always make the rain stop.  

We have highs and we have lows.  Maybe it's time to recognize that we are all the same on that front. 

Grow, be successful, cry, laugh, live, learn, give advice....   but don't forget the struggle.  

Your ability to relate to another may be just the thing that pulls them out of that space.