Friday, August 14, 2009

Writers Block

.... Well, sort of. Writer on hiatus is more like it. It's not that I haven't had thoughts, but more that some of it seemed too negative to broadcast. Which is not really the level that I choose to live from. I'm in a transition phase in my life right now... as many people tend to be. I guess this is my "quarterlife crisis".

I'm moving, I'm graduating, I'm progressing in my career. However some things around me aren't changing. Some of that is good... and some questionable. Just because I'm changing doesn't mean that everyone else will. I'm seeking a balance between what I want and not feeling guilty for my success. It even feels silly putting that in print, but it's real for me at this time in my life. I'm sure it will pass because what I know is that I will not allow myself to shrink to make others comfortable. Not saying that I'm above anyone, but more so that I can't continue to limit myself because I don't want my friends to feel like I've left them behind.

Maybe I'm being extreme and a bit unrealistic. Maybe I'm just outgrowing some of the things that I used to be into, or used to devote my full time and attention to.

I just feel like I'm really coming into my own now. I have things to do and see, and I really get that it takes incredible focus and courage. I'm learning to stand in myself. I thought that I was comfortable in my skin... but I see that I'm just now understanding who I truly am... the true comfort is setting in... I know what I stand for now.

I'm just getting my mind quiet as I move through this space. I'll be fine and everything will fall into place. I'm turning back to my writing... it will see me through this phase.

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